I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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