But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize