I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
