This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
