how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
