i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
