David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
