The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize