Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i would punch a child for taco bell
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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