If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
