I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Come on in and take your pants off
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