new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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