Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
