Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
