Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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