is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
