His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My Higher Power is John Stamos
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
