Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
