i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
