Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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