this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
