now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
