don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
