Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
