So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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