I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he puts the penis in happiness.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
