I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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