She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
