Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
