Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize