My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's blow job season.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
