My liver just broke up with me...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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