you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
