CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
