No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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