I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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