I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
