Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize