Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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