well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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