i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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