you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
