Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
