I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize