Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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