Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
