Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
soo... how was my night?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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