You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
