Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
