Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
