Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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