Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
