my phone needs a breathalizer
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize