I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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