Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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