just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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