take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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