I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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