Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize