He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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