Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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