If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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