Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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