he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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